Posted October 4, 2017 HELLO FELLOW IDENTITY CITIZENS! While reading up on the job postings and such, I have stumbled upon an interesting job, and decided I will set up shop with this as one of my primary operations. What is it? Well, the title says it all. I will be a private lawyer for hire! "Oh boy, another guy looking to get rich of the misfortunes of others." That is incorrect! I will be doing this as a deed to the community, and my services will always be *SLIGHTLY* cheaper than any other lawyer in town. Competition. WHAT MAKES ME "BETTER" THAN THE OTHERS? Well, that's an easy task to overcome. We can all boast that we are the, "best lawyer in the business," however professionalism and natural skill is all that makes a lawyer. You might have the highest paid lawyer cover your case, however the one who knows his loopholes can easily make a fool of him. I'm not asking for you to support my business, however I am indeed asking for you to give me a ring if you fall into any situation that may require a lawyer. GREAT, YOU HAVE A FIRM, WHAT'S IT EVEN CALLED? My firm will be named, "Identity Crisis." Why? Because if you're calling a lawyer, you are clearly in a crisis. Also, the name is pretty catchy. WELL DIDN'T YOU APPLY TO BE A PART OF AEGIS SECURITY? Of course! However, who says I cannot protect your life, literally, while also turning around to protect your very investments and holdings?! WELL UH, WHAT TYPE OF CRIMES AND OR DISPUTES WILL YOU SETTLE? I am willing, and able, to defend (or prosecute) any and all disputes. Did your grandmother break into your house to bake you some cookies, but stumbled upon your stash of meth? I will defend that she had no right WHAT SO EVER to be in your house! What about your brother? Did he rob a bank, and conveniently use your car as the getaway vehicle? Well we can turn around and sue him all of his, "earnings" for grand theft auto! All in all, just give me a call if you're in a pickle. I'll be waiting at the phone... Patiently... Please do call, I need the business... Please? Regards, Sam Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 4, 2017 I might call on you one day. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 4, 2017 16 hours ago, Calisto said: I might call on you one day. Well then at least I have one customer. Maybe I will represent you, and you'll leave me a review on Welp. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 6, 2017 This should go into the business section rather than other careers. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
